Grammy Awards Commentary

Matt was already planning on sitting around on his ass Sunday night. So rather than making random comments to just his girlfriend while watching the Grammy Awards. He thought it would be much better to share those comments with everyone, frankly because his girlfriend has heard it all and doesn’t really care. Feel free to read his play-by-play.


11:28 - Nothing for Gnarlz, I wanted to see Cee-Lo get up on stage with that Pink Boa. That would have been terrific. Thank you good night to you too Scarlett.

11:25 - Okay The Dixie Chicks are officially beating Mary J in the appearances category. The guy that flies is back. 1 more Rick Ruben mention. One each for Slade and Beckett as well.

11:23 - Scarlett Johansen and Don Henley have no personalities. But as this proves as I stated earlier. Don Henly is still alive so why again did we get 5 Eagles songs and one James Brown song? Rick Ruben – 11. Jesus – 2.

11:20 - South Park is an amazing television show. Jewish dolphins!

11:16 - Rick Ruben got more shout outs than Jesus this year. Go Rick! That new beard is doing wonders for you!

11:15 - What happened to “Best Metal Performance”? Is it not televised? I wanted to see the dudes from Mastodon roll up there with their tats and scare the shit out of Tony Bennet.

11:13 - Al Gore is here to teach us about global warming and stuff.

11:10 - Thank you Red Hot Chili Pepper for playing the most boring song you ever wrote to cap off this evening. Really downtempo numbers with confetti are awesome.

11:09 – Thank you Chris Rock for making a “Dick In A Box” joke. What the hell is Flea wearing?

11:03 – Chris Rock, please be good and take us all home!


11:00 - There he is again! That dude that can fly from Heroes.

11:00- C’mon give it Gnarlz…They didn’t.

10:58 - Quentin Tarentino looks like he lost some weight. Tony Bennet should still bust his kneecaps.

10:53 - I still don’t care about the winner of the “Sing with JT” contest. But they are doing a Bill Withers tune so I will watch for at least 2 minutes. See, I support JT and fully believe that if there is anyone that can bring sexyback he can.

10:50 - Prince just thanked me for watching him perform at Halftime of the Super Bowl. You are welcome Prince, I indeed braved the rain to watch you.

10:43 – Remember that no matter where you travel. No matter where this world takes you. Just know that James Blunt thinks I am beautiful.

10:38 - Phew, Mary J is indeed alive still. I hadn’t seen her for nearly and hour. I was getting really scared there for a second. Don’t ever scare me like that again Grammys. The bass player from Earth Wind & Fire is the shit!

10:31 - In Memoriam. Two James Brown tributes in 15 minutes. That’s how it should be. Seriously though, why did we just witness 30 minutes of Rascal Flats and Carrie Underwood. Did we need 5 Eagles songs? I’m pretty sure they are all still alive and James Brown is not.

10:28 - Time to save the music. Contact your elected leaders and have them keep music programs in our schools.

10:25- There’s a great episode of Intervention on A&E about a 23 year old Meth addict that was molested as a child.

10:17 – 2 hours and 17 minutes we finally get a James Brown tribute. In about a half hour we’ll get one for the late, great Mary J Blige.

10:15 - Did Chris Brown sing a single note of that song? He danced his ass off but I’m not so sure about singing. Also I need to get me a set of pop-locking 8 year olds to follow me around at all times.

10:10 - I’m having a debate with my girlfriend as to what plastic surgery Smokey Robinson has had. Lionel Richie has clearly had none.

10:05 – Where’s Mary J Blige? I haven’t seen her in about 30 minutes? Is something wrong? Was there an accident? I know that there’s something they aren’t telling us.

9:58 - We now have about 25 minutes of Eagles covers. At least it wasn’t 25 minutes of Carrie and Rascal Flats music. Things could have been tragic.

9:53 – Rascal Flats and Carrie Underwood are good background music to cooking on the George Foreman Grill. I missed who the music tribute was to but I hear a lot of Eagles covers.

9:43 - The short Dixie Chick is married to the guy that flies from Heroes. Was that common knowledge and I the last to know?

9:34 - Every time Terrance Howard speaks he sounds like he’s on the verge of tears. I think the Grammys have officially been re-named the Bliges, for all I see is Mary J. What’s The Donald up to on The Apprentice? Whoah, there’s an American Pie marathon on USA.

9:31 - No more Family Guy. Does anyone actually watch American Dad? Is fox too scared to yank it off the air because they don’t want to make the same mistake they did with Family Guy?

9:25 - If there were any justice in this world, The Roots would have won for best rap album. Luda, we like you and all but you’ve done nothing new with your music since you started. Did like the shout outs to Bill O’Riley and Oprah though.

9:23 - Listen, I know it’s “cool” to do remixes and stuff. But Gnarlz Barkley, you lost me with your rendition of “Crazy”. Save the remixes for the concert. I want to hear the song the same way it is on the record. And you could have pulled off a better costume choice for the Grammys! I mean you rocked Star Wars garb for MTV. This could have been stepped up a bit. Cee-Lo, I’m looking right at you for I’ve seen you in leather pants, topless, wearing a pink boa. You fell short on this one buddy.

9:18 – Yes! The cast of How I Met Your Mother!

9:15- Every channel is on commercial. Time to use the bathroom.

9:11 - The Dixie Chicks are kinda attractive, even the cross-eyed one. What’s happening on Desparate Housewives?

9:10 - Seal and Engelbert Humperdink need to make a song together. Maybe for the theme song to the new Spiderman movie?

9:07 - Family Guy is on commercial. Flipping back in time to see the end of Shakira shanking it in a gold bikini like Princess Leia. This will easily be the highlight of this hour if you put the television on “mute”.

9:00 - Booyah we got Family Guy!


8:57 - Nelly Furtado and John Mayer have the same hair.

8:48 - I know this song, it’s from Gray’s Anatomy. Who’s John Legend? Doesn’t sound legendary to me. Unless you count spitting into a mic on national TV a feat of legend. John Mayer makes the best guitar face of anyone I know. Way to go John.

8:43 - Wait, there’s a Grease reality show on TV? It’s on NBC.

8:40 - …And we have our first “Thank You Jesus” of the evening!

8:39 - Mary J Blige so far has 2 of the 3 speeches of the evening.

8:37 - Can someone tell me why Samuel L Jackson is sitting up near the front? Isn’t he in exile for at least the next year since Snakes On A Plane came out?

8:35 - Hey King Of The Hill is back on the air. That entertains me for a few seconds until I realize that Family Guy is not on right now. E True Hollywood Story here I come.

8:34 – I have a newfound respect for Justin Timberlake since he appeared on SNL but I still can’t sit through his entire performance.

8:29 – On VH1 right now. Vanilla Ice is screaming about whores on The Surreal Life. Emanuel Lewis is the voice of reason. So far, this is the most entertaining part of the evening.

8:27 – Does anyone care about the women getting the chance to sing with Justin Timberlake? When did an award show become American Idol?

8:25 – We have our second award of the night given out and the second played off the stage by music. It’s almost time for Family Guy.

8:21 – I’m back. Fergie is having trouble reading the teleprompter. But they are talking about Booker T and the MGs so I will keep The Simpsons to the TiVo.

8:18 – The purple one is everywhere this week. Rockin’ the white. Dreamgirl Beyonce is bringin’ sexyback. I’m flipping over to The Simpsons.

8:14 – Mary J Blige is hockin’ Chevy!

8:10 – Did I just see Chad from Red Hot Chili Peppers playing drums for Dixie Chicks?

8:06 – Stevie Wonder and Tony Bennet bringing sexyback. You gotta love it. Did Tony just name drop Target?

8:05 – Jamie Foxx crypt dancing on the Grammy’s.

8:00 – Damn Sting looks great for an old guy! The Police sound awesome though! It’s good to see them on stage even though Sting has been performing these songs live for years and we all know that he is The Police. I do have to ask myself what was the deal with the weird second verse.

3 Comments Short URL

3 Responses to “Grammy Awards Commentary”

  1. Anonymous February 11, 2007 at 10:55 pm #

    This “Grammy Idol” contest is a fix. She’s already signed and probably has a record deal. What a sham!

  2. Anonymous February 14, 2007 at 3:12 pm #

    James brown was robbed constantly for decades. DECADES at the Grammy’s Then they have Christina scream a (partially off-key) rendidtion of a Classic and they call it even. There’s not enough Air-Freshener for an injustice like that.

    For those who’ve been down with the brown since day one. Raise some fuss.

    I like your timeline, keep that up. And I do watch American Dad.

  3. Anonymous February 14, 2007 at 3:22 pm #

    Someone that watches American Dad!? Awesome I found one! Yeah James Brown was robbed. I still don’t understand why there 5 Eagles songs played and one for James.